I saw a photo the other day, just a few words scrawled in red on a tiled wall:
“You’re acting small to make them comfortable.”
It hit me like a punch in the chest.
Because I’ve done that.
Maybe you have too.
I’ve held back ideas in rooms where I knew I was right because someone more senior needed to feel in charge.
I’ve softened my tone, shrunk my presence, and swallowed frustration, not out of humility, but to avoid ruffling feathers.
I’ve made myself smaller so others wouldn’t feel insecure.
And here’s the thing: it doesn’t work.
It doesn’t earn respect. It doesn’t build trust.
All it does is chip away at who you are.
There’s a difference between being collaborative and being compliant. Between being kind and being invisible. And sometimes, we blur those lines so much we forget who we are under all that accommodation.
I’m not saying blow up meetings or bulldoze people.
But if you’re constantly editing yourself for the comfort of others…
If you’re minimizing your value so someone else can feel taller…
That’s not team spirit. That’s self-erasure.
The irony? The people you’re shrinking for don’t always notice.
But the people who believe in you?
They see it. They feel it. They wonder where you went.
So I’m done acting small.
Not in an arrogant way, but in an honest way.
Fully in. Fully me.
If that makes someone uncomfortable, maybe that’s theirs to unpack.
