You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you.
That line hit like a freight train.
The full quote, often attributed to Warren Buffett, reads:
“You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you, that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.”
Now, whether or not Buffett actually tweeted that is beside the point. What matters is this:
Most people in leadership roles aren’t leading. They’re reacting.
Agile, but Make It Calm
In Agile spaces, we preach feedback loops and transparency, but we rarely teach emotional regulation. One teammate pushes back and it feels like a betrayal. An executive questions a metric and suddenly the whole team spirals into defensiveness.
Agility isn’t the problem. Fragile egos are.
Restraint is what separates leaders from managers and adults from toddlers with titles.
The Real Power Move? Pausing.
When you feel triggered by a comment, a Slack message, or a sideways glance in a sprint review, consider this:
- Do I need to respond?
- Do I need to respond right now?
- Do I need to respond in this tone?
Nine times out of ten, silence or a measured response is the better play. It keeps the conversation productive. It buys you time to respond instead of react. It keeps the other person from yanking your puppet strings.
Don’t Be a Feedback Fireball
If every piece of feedback sends you into explanation mode, you’re not learning. You’re protecting.
And if every status check feels like an interrogation, the problem might not be the questions, it might be your need to defend instead of explore.
Breathe. Let it pass. Then decide what’s worth addressing.
Closing Thought
Power is not the ability to win every argument. Power is not having the last word. Power is knowing when silence speaks louder.
So next time someone pokes your pride, remember: You don’t have to flinch. You don’t have to react.
You can just nod, smile, and keep building.
Now that’s power.
